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(updated: 07.20.11) From negative to positive is no easy feat for the persistent pessimists of the world. We asked people to share how they were able to become more positive and pinpoint any techniques that made a difference in their life. If attitude is everything then having a positive outlook can make a big difference.
How have you managed to turn pessimism into optimism?
Whenever I catch myself being pessimistic about a person or situation, I know it is my attitude that is the problem. Instead of trying to control the world around me, to the best of my ability I make peace with what is, and search within for a new attitude. The world truly is what our thoughts make of it.
---Wendy Irene, www.givelovecreatehappiness.com
I strongly contend that these two emotions are equally damaging and are far more connected than most of us realize. Pessimism and optimism are both the result of attachment to an outcome or a Thing. Neither is a function of a healthy mind. I know, right? Tough words to chew.
Remember this: what is good now will be bad later. What is bad right now will be good later. That is life. It’s a moving target, a dynamically shifting window of opportunities to wake up. Holding on to the Good is a sure way to set oneself up for a massive disappointment. Holding on to the Bad is a terrific way to wind up bitter, depressed and disillusioned.
Make friends with the things that hurt. When Fear knocks on the door, invite it to have a sit at the kitchen table. Serve coffee (or tea) and just acknowledge that it IS. We spend so much time “fighting” our fears, “battling” our demons and struggling to “balance” things that are not intended to balance. Just as you wouldn’t force-balance an account, you cannot win by fighting fear. Or darkness. Or depression. Acknowledge it. Source it.
All these things that come and go
Are handled best by hope
That through Storm and Stillness
Somehow, the better Spirit leads
And, from this,
Though we cannot know-
There is deposit for Good.
---Ti Conkle, www.titaniumvertical.com, Climber | Author | Photographer
I am by nature a fairly optimistic person but one thing I do a lot of is listen to podcasts and read books that will motivate and support my dreams on a fairly regular basis. So I try and listen to interviews with people like Seth Godin, Chris Guillebeau, Steven Pressfield and others who are doing great work and inspiring others to do the same. I especially turn to these when I begin to have doubts about what I am working on. Perhaps the most important thing I do though is to pray daily. I pray, "God, help me do great work that will impact others for good." Realizing that even if I fail at everything I do, God will still love me gives me the confidence to just go for it.
---Aaron believes everyone can learn another language. You just need a little help. That’s why he writes The Everyday Language Learner and why he has developed the free Ten Week Journey. He wants to get you started on the road to language learning and then give you the tools to keep going. Get started. Don't stop.
Like articles like this? Read about how people have tackled topics like: financial issues, overcoming mental barriers, how to be optimistic, death, time management or taking risks
In my life, I've faced quite a few difficult experiences. In the past, I handled most of them in a negative way, dwelling on the bad and avoiding the good. Clearly, this approach did not work out too well. I often made bad situations worse and found myself in a vicious cycle of negativity.
At 25-years-old, I reached an unacceptably low point in my life. I felt as though I was struggling in all aspect of my life and I felt terrible about the life I was living. I was unhappy and, though it was tempting to look outside myself for quick fixes to this unhappiness, I eventually realized that the only one who could turn things around and make my life what I wanted it to be was me.
In recent years, I've learned to face difficulties with a positive attitude. Focusing on the good in every situation (and, yes, there is always some bit of good) has proved the best way to handle any difficulty. I've learned that whatever attitude I choose determines a lot of outcomes in my life.
Choosing to have a positive attitude has made the most amazing difference in every single aspect of my life. It took awhile for me to come to this realization -- and to really narrow down my unhappiness to two specific areas (being positive and being present) that I wanted to focus on -- but once I did, I started to make some major changes in my life, all of which have led me to where I am today.
---Dani, With my readers, I share my personal stories of living a positive life, including tips and tricks on how to make the most of positivity. In addition, I provide resources for others to help them get started on the path to a positive life. www.positivelypresent.com
In the past I used to perceive a lot of things in a very negative way. When problems would arise I would complain and make a big deal out of it. When something didn’t work out I would just blame other people. But later I learned how to reframe events and circumstances that came my way. Reframing means that you can take a negative event and look at it in a positive way. Or if a problem arises you can look at the problem in a very positive way and come up with solutions. I was reading a book by Tony Robbins that discussed mental reframing and how to train your mind to take any problem and look at it in a positive way. It is not easy but once you train your mind to do this, you will be unstoppable.
I once spent a day going through rejection after rejection when selling door to door to businesses. Clients were telling me my product wouldn’t solve their Marketing problem. Instead of feeling down about what they said, I spent the night thinking about how I can introduce my product better to prospects.
I also started giving self-help workshops with a friend and there were a few workshops where not many people showed up. In the beginning I was frustrated but frustration doesn’t lead you anywhere. I spent the evening thinking about how to promote the workshop better and how to present the material better.
One lesson I have learned is that every problem has a solution but you have to learn how to reframe and keep your mind in a resourceful state everytime otherwise you will feel frustrated.
---Nabil Gulamani, www.successatreach.com
It’s really easy to “get knocked down.” I think the number one thing to do to turn pessimism into optimism is to first just recognize that you are feeling that way. It is so seductive to get wrapped up in your own drama (real or imagined).
Once you’ve identified your feelings, there are a number of things you can do at that point. Here are a few of my favorites:
If it is so overwhelming that you feel like you can’t even look at it, start with exercising. I like to do sprints. Just a few minutes of sprints do a great job of clearing your mind (because you can only focus on is catching your breath and not vomiting). Exercise also changes your body’s chemistry and helps “burn stress.”
After exercising (or if you are not in a totally devastated state to begin with), I like to “guess what the silver lining is” in the problem – write them down, it can be realistic or totally outrageous.
Gratitude lists are always a good way to turn your mood around. Just start writing down everything you are thankful for. At first I usually need “fake it,” but it doesn’t take long to really start feeling it. No matter what your situation, there is always something you can be grateful about.
---Doug Grootveld, www.wellnessrenegade.com
I struggle with pessimism just as much as the next person even though I strive to be an optimist. I believe optimists get the most out of life and have many more opportunities than pessimists. That said, the mind is a tricky thing. Your thoughts can tell you all kinds of things, circumstance can make you feel a multitude of ways, and sometimes avoiding pessimism can seem impossible. For me, it’s about developing a practice of prayer and positive thinking that pull me through the natural bent toward pessimism. And just like any practice the more I do the better I get. Practice optimism and it will come to you more easily.
Marlee Ward Metamorphoself - Helping You Unlock the Entrepreneur Within
I fretted and whined a lot in my early twenties. Reading a book called The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn changed my way of thinking. It made me realize that it’s up to me to get in the correct frame of mind to make positive changes.
Also, around the same time Oprah’s show came on and I started watching. I even went to one of her early shows in Chicago! Oprah says to dream big. I started believing her. We really can change our lives.
The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies. There are billions of reasons why, but one of the biggest is how Dorothy learns that she always had the power to get home. She just had to realize it and focus. I believe that’s true for all of us. I think that’s why the movie is such a timeless classic.
For me, it’s been a very gradual process over many years and I am in the midst of it, still trying to figure it all out.
I try to focus on what I want to increase in my life: joy, good health, delicious food, love and kindness, family, friends, creativity, art, humor, success and comfortable surroundings. I know that we cannot control everything in our lives. But I’m trying to be true to myself and live an authentic life.
It seems to me that you can't pursue your dreams half-heartedly. Sometimes, you have to take big leaps of faith. No matter how scary. Bad things happen. They happened to me. But I decide how I will react when something bad happens. Quite literally and figuratively, I choose to not only make lemonade from lemons. It’s sweet refreshing homemade lemonade and I blog about it too.
---Lisa Johnson aka “Anali” provides tasty servings of life, food, and current events on her blog Anali’s First Amendment
I've learned that pessimism is completely counter-productive. Pessimism is against every fiber of our natural human spirits. Humans long for good things, happiness, and wish to share positivity with others. Pessimism is a product of being stuck within our own heads-- the ego holding us down and holding us back. I've learned this the hard way, mostly from heartache and dealing with depression in my life. But those hyper-condensed bouts of pessimism have taught me so much, put life into greater perspective and shown me the way to really live. Let go of pessimism. Exhale it away with every breath, and breath in the positive energy that swirls around you.
---Dave Ursillo is a 25-year-old writer, blogger and life-explorer at www.DaveUrsillo.com. As an alternative leadership author and speaker, he teaches people how to "Lead Without Followers" in any walk of life by nurturing a quiet, profound sense of personal leadership
I stopped complaining. In 2007, I decided I was going to give up complaining for 40 days and an amazing amount of negativity and pessimism went out the door.
---Sibyl Chavis blogs about simple tips for Living Today Better than Yesterday over at The Possibility of Today. She's a full time blogger and the author of several eBooks.
Do you have a different perspective on this topic? Send us your unique perspective to dreamit @ juliossol.com
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How to be Optimistic
